Rix SmackDown! Sum-up 4/22/11

So, did you guys miss this week's installment of SmackDown!? Well... surprisingly, so did I. Yeh, sometimes these things just slip my mind, or I find something else more pressing than the watching of professional wrestling (BLASPHEMY). Nevertheless, as I assumed this week's SmackDown! would more than trump RAW, and because I genuinely was interested in seeing how some of the storylines went down.

And from what I saw from the raw (and I mean raw, as the video quality is terrible) footage from SmackDown! from WWE.com, I was right to be hopeful. In the weak prior to the shake up that is the Draft, SmackDown! finishes strong with some good matches, good story-telling, and just a good overall feel. I can't go quite as in depth with all the stuff that happened this week, but here goes my analysis.

• The Bombastic Bag Man: Cody continues his descent into madness as he hits the ring and, following another melodramatic speech, he starts distributing paper bag masks to the audience (I shit you not) as some form of symbolic "hiding" of everyone's inner ugliness... or something. Yes, this could be considered some form of rip-off of the Beautiful People's schtick they used to do, but hey it was fun. I'm liking Cody's ridiculous new Phantom of the Opera deal, and this new paper mask thing just adds another layer of crazy.
• Oh, and there was also a match. In a rematch of their Wrestlemania battle, Rhodes faced off against Mysterio. The finish of this match seemed to come relatively out of nowhere, but that was soon revealed to be because the two had 10 or so minute segment where they brawled on the outside, in the audience, and all over the place. It wasn't horribly exciting stuff, but luckily, the feud that's been brewing between these two helped to sell the idea of them really wanting to hurt each other. In the end, Mysterio takes the match, but Rhodes gets the last laugh by laying out Rey and slipping a paper bag over his head. Goofy stuff, but goofy in a likable way.

• Team Tensions: The Corre continues their slow train wreck of a disbandment into this week's SmackDown!, but at this point, the amount of bitching they're doing to one another is fairly entertaining. I personally like most of the members of the Corre (not you, Heath), and whenever these guys get more screen time, I'm a fan, but I was getting tired of them being made to be such a TERRIBLE team for no goddamn reason. Now, at least their constant in-fighting makes it obvious why these guys aren't living up to their potential. Various Corre members see action later in the night.
• But of course who cares about that stuff when LayCool are having relationship issues!? Yeah, I personally could really care less about this dumb angle, but I have to admit that I didn't hate their small segment here, mainly because it ends with Michelle McCool attacking Layla. Are LayCool over? Well, methinks the Draft next week could end with these two ladies ending up on different shows. That's alright by me.

• Swagger Squash: Jack Swagger has sadly been caught in a bit of a dead-end angle lately playing second banana to Michael fucking Cole. I have to admit my gut reaction to when I saw Swagger premier (around the time I stopped watching wrestling) was to automatically hate the guy. However, since then, I've come to realize he's actually a pretty good worker, and though I don't think he's the next Kurt Angle (which seems to be the direction WWE wants to take him in), he deserves much better. Perhaps as a way to keep him still somewhat threatening, he gets a short squash match here against Trent Beretta. Swagger hits all his big spots and gets the win. A squash is a squash, but this one at least seemed to have some purpose.

• New Tag Champs: Returning to the Corre's troubles, it was only a matter of time before they lost some gold. Wouldn't ya know it, but Gabriel and Slater drop the belts this week to Big Show and Kane. Big Show showed some good athleticism here, but more than anything this match was basically used to progress storylines. The Corre now loses their tag belts, and Gabriel and Slater are at each other's throats. Do I suspect Show and Kane will stay tag champs for long? Maybe not, but I've got no problem having those veterans carry the straps for a while.

• Masters vs. McIntyre: My man-crush on Drew McIntyre continues this week as he takes on Chris Masters in a really entertaining match. Honestly, the good part about McIntyre at this point is they've established him as a threat, but one whose arrogance and overconfidence can cost him any match. They play that up here as Masters and McIntyre actually have a really good back and forth. Stiff as they are, there were some really good high-impact spots between these two, including a diving shoulder block by Masters and McIntyre nailing ANOTHER hugely stiff clothesline. I can't attest to what it's like to wrestle these guys, but with the intensity they provided in the match and their own stiff styles, it was just a lot of fun. McIntyre picks up the win in what was my favorite match of the night.

• Barrett Escapes the Boom: Fairly entertaining match between Kofi Kingston and Wade Barrett for the IC Championship. Again, the storytelling, particularly with Ezekiel Jackson at ringside, made up for any actual shortcomings, but these two are talented dudes who know how to work. The thing I disliked about this match was the finish. Barrett cheats to sneak past Kingston, but it just perpetuates the feeling that nobody in the Corre is an actual threat. Sure, Zeke took out Kingston a week ago, but Barrett, Slater, and Gabriel are constantly being made to look dumb. Fine match, I just wish the finish would have had Barrett actually taking the match with skill rather than cheating. It's also of note that the crowd's reaction (the show was in London) when Barrett nearly landed Wasteland was pretty hilarious as a collective roar seemed to erupt, followed by a disappointed hush when Kingston countered.

• ADR is Poop: Lastly, Alberto Del Rio throws a retirement party for Edge. Remember that terrible Michael Cole segment from RAW? That was goofy "not wrestling" nonsense done wrong. This was goofy "not wrestling" nonsense done right. Del Rio genuinely seemed to be having fun as he unveiled gag after gag, and that fun was not lost on me (though it may have been on the audience). Of course, Edge appears and does his usually devastation on the microphone (including calling ADR and his party-goers "poop"), and Christian comes in to physically break up the party. A good way to end the show, one that can't be faulted for lack of wrestling because, there was actually a lot of wrestling on this damn show (imagine that). It was fun, and it's good to see Edge again while he's still there.

Overall, the SmackDown! before the Draft was darn fun, and it's bittersweet that a majority of this talent will likely find its way onto RAW following Monday. I give SmackDown! for the 22nd a solid 4 stars out of 5.

Monday is the Draft, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it to provide my own apt brand of analysis to it. Look for that, and more blogs relating to wrestling, video games, comics, and everything in between, in the coming week.

Until then, stay tuned to The Machine...

Rix RAW Recap 4/18/11

On my SmackDown! sum-up last Saturday, I had praised WWE for having a pair of really solid shows that week. I've just now started to get into the swing of the WWE today, and after two great shows, I was fully excited about this week's RAW.

Unfortunately, following a pretty limp couple of hours, the "hot streak" is over. Don't get me wrong, last night's RAW wasn't horrendous, it just didn't have too many high spots that made it worth catching. Let's take a look at the run-down.

• R-Truth's Heel Turn: Just a week removed from his big win that granted him a number one contender's spot at Extreme Rules, R-Truth opens the show and warms up the audience. John Morrison comes out and the two have a fairly entertaining exchange, one in which Morrison points out some of R-Truth's faults. I thought this was heading in the direction of making R-Truth the flawed hero in WWE, but instead, Morrison challenges R-Truth for his spot and, to my surprise, beats him fairly quickly. R-Truth then goes on a tear and destroys Morrison in a heel turn that ends with him smoking a cigarette *GASP*. The actual wrestling wasn't terribly exciting, but a decent amount of story-telling and a pretty weird way to open the show. Unfortunately, that's about as good as it gets tonight.

• Ziggler is Seriuz Biznezz: Squash match featuring Evan Bourne taking on a new-look Dolph Ziggler. I honestly have to say that, despite a decent push to make him a "serious" heel, Zigg just never had a look that I could take seriously. Now, he's gotten rid of the silly blonde mop for a more steam-lined 'do, and is playing his character a lot more straight. I personally find this to be a welcome move, and Zigg showed off some decent intensity and technique as he squashed Bourne. Bourne kinda deserves better, but somebody's gotta make Dolph look good.

• An Unlikely Duo: Next up, the Miz stages a sit-in in the middle of the ring to coax a move by the RAW general manager. However, Miz's heterosexual life-mate, Alex Riley, and Sin Cara have a match scheduled, but rather than be left to wolves that are Miz and Riley, Sin Cara gets some back-up in the form of John Cena. The match becomes a tag team match, and a fairly solid one at that. My biggest problem with it is that, while I want Sin Cara to be successful, and he's way over with the crowd, he keeps botching spots at least a few times each match. Maybe it's because he's a little rough around the edges, or his fellow wrestlers aren't used to working with a performer his speed, but he botched some more moves here, including the finish. Decent match, I just wish Sin Cara could have hit some of those spots better. Then it may have been a GREAT match.

• Eve Torres beats that other Bella twin: Another Divas match happened. To be honest, it was a really solid match, and I'm beginning to think Eve Torres is a pretty decent performer. The problem, again, exists in the lack of drama or story-telling here. No audience reaction to speak of. I would love for the Divas division to become a genuinely competitive division, I just don't know how they can get their audience to care about it.

• Annnnnd Cole Completely Derails the Show: Seeing as the show was in London, someone on the WWE writing staff decided it'd be a good idea to have Michael Cole be knighted by the "Queen". What resulted was a segment that was far too long, far too ridiculous, and just far too... long to be enjoyable in the least. I'm not even going to get into details of what happened, just that it's this kind of stupidity that makes me second guess my enjoyment of professional wrestling. If the bit leads to something, then fine. This did not, so it is not fine.

• Squash Match #2: The palette cleanser for Mr. Cole's terrible segment... isn't really a palette cleanser. No, instead, it's a throwaway squash match between Sheamus and Santino. Sheamus destroys Santino. That's about it.

• Orton vs. Punk THE RETURN: Now fully deflated, RAW heads into the main event featuring C.M. Punk and Randy Orton. This should, by all accounts, be a great match, and it is pretty solid. It's a bit slow-paced, but there is some genuine intensity in these two's rivalry. The problem existed only in the fact that by this time, RAW's telecast is limping to the finish, and although Orton and Punk have a good match, it's not great. And certainly is not good enough to salvage the meh RAW. Orton manages to outsmart Nexus, and the curtain falls on another RAW.

The problem I feel with this edition of RAW is just that, aside from the opening number, no story-lines arose or were furthered. Without any sort of emotional investment or compelling story, RAW needs to instead fall back on the quality of the wrestling. Sadly... there just wasn't much of that going on this week. It certainly wasn't OFFENSIVELY bad, except for maybe the Michael Cole segment, but it wasn't super entertaining either.

However, I've got high hopes for this Friday's SmackDown! and hopefully, with the WWE Draft looming, some new story-lines emerge out of the ether.

Rix SmackDown! Sum-up 4/15/11

Friday Night SmackDown! has come and gone once more, and, seeing as Edge has just retired, leaving the World Heavyweight Championship vacant, it was shaping up to be quite a doozy. Does it live up to that promise?

• "Ai neber like you, Teddie!": Alberto Del Rio opens up the show with what at first seems like is going to be a fairly respectable speech concerning Edge's retirement, but in predictable fashion, it eventually comes down to him wanting the belt to be handed over to him. Teddie Long comes out to tell him that "it ain't goin' down like that", and that he will face the winner of the main event of SmackDown! at Extreme Rules for the belt, instead. The main event will be a 20-man battle royal. The opening did what it had to and established the main event, and it was pretty humorous seeing Del Rio seethe over his misfortune.

• The Corre Slowly Implodes: The Corre, following their recent character assassination, continue to in-fight. With the 20-man battle royal looming, the "tension" rises. Zeke has a fairly forgettable match with Kofi Kingston, the only amusing spot being him tossing Kofi into his Corre teammates who sit ringside at the announce table. Zeke then attempts to work the mic, showing me that he is similar to Ahmed Johnson in more than just ring presence. I'm tiring a bit of the Corre continuing to exist when they are so obviously going to disband, but their appearance on this episode was less annoying than on RAW.

• Lay-Cool do... something: Yep. I couldn't tell you what, because as I stated on the RAW recap, the women's division in WWE has so little talent or genuine character (none of which is in Lay-Cool), that they don't seem to care about it, so why should I?

• Cody of the Opera: I've always kind of liked Cody Rhodes, but I can't argue that he was always a little boring. Now, his character is positively over the top, and it's actually pretty entertaining. Cody works the mic and talks about maiming Rey Mysterio. It's all good cheesey heel stuff, and sets up the next match featuring Rey and Drew McIntyre.

• McIntyre and Mysterio go to War: I can't say I'm a huge Drew McIntyre fan, mainly because I haven't really ever seen the guy work, but DAMN this was a good match. It's probably the power of Mysterio to make most guys look really good, but this was just a really well-paced, really well put-together battle these two had. Heck, I say one of the marks of a good match is when I can't predict WHO is gonna take it in the end, and this match definitely had that element. Good spots, including a really high-impact clothesline by McIntyre from his knees in corner, and a fantastic see-saw battle. Mysterio takes it with the 619 into a body-splash.

• Battle Royal: On to the main event, and to be honest, with Christian in this match-up, I feel it was a fore-gone conclusion he'd win. Kudos to the announcers for down-playing his presence in the match and adding some tension, but I feel the battle royal was just a "clever" way to make Christian opposite Del Rio at Extreme Rules. Battle royals, however, are a favorite of mine, though their quality usually is dependent on the big spots involved, and the impromptu story-lines that emerge. This one had some pretty good ones, with Big Show being eliminated early, Kane going head to head with Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel turning on Wade Barrett, and Michael Cole taking a 619 for Jack Swagger. Again, it was all window dressing to disguise the predictable finish of Christian winning, but it was entertaining window dressing nonetheless.

And thus ended another WWE show for the week, and to my surprise, it was damn entertaining. It did have a bit too much "fluff" for my liking, never really taking off until the back half, but great in spite of that fault. I'm happy to say it was a pretty solid week for sports entertainment.

Even better if you're catching Chikara's King of Trios this weekend.

SmackDown! gets 4 stars out of 5 for this week.