Perhaps you know these people. Perhaps you ARE one of these people; lord knows I've fit one or more of these descriptions at one point or another. The point is that they exist, and perhaps now you will be given proper information on who these people are and why they kinda suck to play with.
5. The Duct-Tape Gamer:
This term can be applied to a large group of people, but their defining characteristic is some form of faulty equipment. Whether it's a controller malfunctioning, a mic that constantly cuts out and echoes, or an internet connection that means you can't go ten minutes of playing without this person being booted from/lagging out of your session, this person just can't seem to get their shit together.
"What's the holdup?! Why aren't we playing already?", says you.
"We're waiting for douche-face to FIX HIS NETS!", says I.
4. The Screen-Looker:
While this was once the scourge of all multiplayer-based shooters on consoles, the advent and popularization of online has made the screen-looker an endangered species. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, try to recall the days of split-screen. Remember the person who just happened to know where everyone was hiding? Remember the heathen who managed to make the most ridiculous evasive maneuvers just as you got them in your sights?
No, this person was not touched by God and no they don't have ESP. They are just a dirty cheater who is looking at your part of the screen. This was always a difficult offense to prove, but the punishment would always be severe. To the dirty screen-looker goes the ire and many punches of his contemporaries.
3. The Apathetic One:
Like all good times in life, nothing can spoil a video game session faster than someone who just doesn't care. After all, video games are supposed to be a euphoric experience and one that builds friendship and community (YES I'M SERIOUS!). So why then do some dudes just seem depressed or bored when playing with their buds?
Is it because they really don't enjoy the game or that they just hate you personally? Either way, if you're laughing and having a good time only to be greeted by stony and disheartening silence coming through your headsets, you know your session is about to go from ^__^ to T__T.
2. The Clueless Teammate:
Let's face it, even if you're on a team in a multiplayer game, there usually isn't a lot of actually teamwork going on. However, games like Left 4 Dead, Team Fortress 2, and the Battlefield games stress teamwork as a NECESSITY for success and/or survival. This is usually where having an actual friend to play the game with would come in handy. At least it would if they actually realized you were alive. It would be handy if they actually acknowledged when you needed help as much as you gave it to them.
No dude, it's cool. Yeah, you got the last med kit, but you can have this one, too. Just keep these flesh-eating monsters off me, okay? Or just run off and leave me to fend for myself like you are currently doing. That's cool, too, I guess.
And last, but most certainly least...
1. The Idiot Savant:
This menace has existed for generations and has permeated all facets of the gaming world. Stop me if you've heard this before... even though you can't because this is typed out already...
You buy a game. You get pretty decent at said game. You invite a friend to play said game. They have never played said game. They proceed to UTTERLY DESTROY YOU AT SAID GAME.
Either they were lying or you just suck ass, but the fact of the matter is nothing is worse than that smug look on a friend's face when they stomp you at a game that they have never ever played before. Nothing ruins friendships or games in general like the idiot savant. They are truly the bane of all existence and the killer of innocent children.
I'm surely guilty of being a clueless teammate. I think we also know one of those idiot savants. His name: Lauren Ardi.
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